I’ve recently dragged my family on a multitude of wintery adventures. Winter in upstate New York is frigid, endless and very snowy. I wanted to find ways to enjoy this time of year, not loathe it!

All of our adventures revolved (mostly) around getting outside and moving. I’m happy to report that all of our escapades were (mostly) successful at getting us to enjoy the frozen tundra of upstate New York!

Favorite winter hike

We’ve embarked on several hikes at the historic Fort Hill at Ganondagan in Victor, Ontario County.

On the hikes, my boys love to run ahead and sneak behind trees, trying to scare us once my husband and I catch up to them.

On a hike during an unusually warm Saturday in January, we hiked all the way from Fort Hill to Dryer Road Park! It took us at least 30 minutes, but the reward of the playground at Dryer Road kept them going.

(Just a warning that dad did have to run back through the trails to fetch the car while the boys played with mom at the playground.)

Where: Fort Hill at Ganondogan is off County Road 41 in Victor

What to know: Watch out for the mountain bikers! The Ganondogan trails intersect with the Dryer Road trails. The latter is known for its mountain biking.

For more information: https://parks.ny.gov/historic-sites/attachments/GanondaganTrailMap.pdf

Learning to ski

My husband is the only pro skier amongst us. Dreaming of weekends spent skiing as a family, I signed my oldest son and me up for lessons at Powder Mills Park, in Pittsford, Monroe County. Swain Ski Resort and Monroe County Parks teamed up to bring downhill skiing at that park, which has a gradual hill that’s perfect for beginners.

My son enrolled in a ski camp at the park during winter break from school. (The park also offers another camp during Presidents’ Week in February.) I also took a one-hour “open group lesson” on a Sunday in January.

We’re not about to tackle a Black Diamond trail anytime soon. But I’m happy to report that my son and I are A LOT more comfortable on skis and can kinda ski down a hill without falling (too much!).

Where: Powder Mills Park, 154 Park Road in Pittsford

What to know: There’s a tow rope. A dreaded tow rope.

For more information: https://www2.monroecounty.gov/files/parks/Powdermills%20Park%202018%20Trifold.pdf

For more on skiing, read 18 Places to Ski & Snowboard in Upstate New York

Sledding

You’ll need some kind of hill in your yard for this one. But for the second year in a row, my husband has dug a sledding “luge” course around our yard after every major snow. A lot of great outdoor time is spent racing down the course.

What to know: We found that digging out an actual sledding or “luge” course is essential if you want to avoid crashing into things in my yard – like trees, the pool, and the creek.

Hockey

I signed my son up for a beginner skating/hockey class. He hated it. Enough said.

What’s next?

Snowshoeing! I can’t wait to rent or buy snowshoes and take our outdoor adventures to the next level. I’ll make sure to consult When In Snow Country, Snowshoe before taking the plunge.

When I was about to become a grandma for the first time, I did many of the typical things prospective grandparents do.  I bought baby furniture so my new little one would be comfortable in our home, and practiced referring to myself as “Grandma” (I had to get used to my new title). I even bought a new phone with a better camera and more storage for all those photos I knew I would be taking.

Then, I also did something I had never done before:  I got a flu shot.

For years, I had avoided the flu shot. I don’t get the flu and I don’t work in a hospital with vulnerable patients or with the public where I would be exposed to their germs.  I ignored the recommendations that almost everyone should get vaccinated.

Babies: At High Risk For Flu Complications

Then I learned that young children who catch the flu are more likely to get really sick, land in the hospital or even die.  Children are more likely to get the flu. They have a weaker immune system and are often exposed to germs. Babies less than six months old are too young to even get a flu vaccine.

It’s not just young children who are at high risk of getting really sick from the flu. Others at risk include:

• Adults age 65 and older
• Pregnant women
• People with medical conditions including asthma, heart disease, diabetes, or a weakened immune system

The first step in protecting yourself and others from the flu? Get a flu shot, according to advice from the CDC. The flu shot can keep you from catching the flu. While the effectiveness of the shot can vary from year-to-year, the flu shot may also prevent serious complications from the flu.

Am I Selfish If I Don’t Get A Flu Shot?

I may think that I won’t catch the flu. But there are people, including my grandchild, who could become seriously ill if I passed the flu to them. When you have the flu, you can pass it on to others even before you start to feel sick.

This caused me to think: Am I selfish if I don’t get a flu shot? What kind of a grandma would I be if I didn’t protect my grandchild?

So, I went to my doctor and rolled up my sleeve.

A Check-Up For Future Grandparents

At my doctor visit, I learned that in addition to the flu vaccine, new grandparents should also talk to their doctor about getting other immunizations as well. Vaccines for new grandparents can include:

• Whooping cough (Tdap) vaccine
• Shingles vaccine (for adults 60+)
• Pneumococcal vaccine

Whether you’re a grandparent or parent, caregiver or child, consider getting the shot to protect your loved one from getting seriously sick from the flu this winter.

 

After reading my recent blog post, “4 Tips for Not Driving Your College Kids Crazy Over Thanksgiving Break”, my parents felt a little “picked on”. So, I thought it was only fair to ask them for their viewpoint from the other side. Between my mom saying it’s impossible to get me up before 10 a.m., and my sister telling me she can never fit herself into my schedule, I realized that there has to be give and take on both sides. For some students, balancing our own needs at home on breaks while making time for family can be touch and go.

To avoid missing out on anything, I asked my mom, dad, and other parents for their tips on making the most of our time while home on breaks.

1. Spend time with family

They miss us while we’re gone! This is the perfect time to catch up with our families. Thanksgiving break seemed too short to squeeze everything in, but thankfully, winter break is usually a month or longer. I know I have a lot to catch up on with my parents and two sisters. Besides immediate family – aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents, too, want some face time. Let your grandparents spoil you with their love and food (mostly food).

2. Stay Active!

This one is courtesy of my dad, the personal trainer. You don’t have to go crazy, but you also don’t want to get into the habit of oversleeping and being lazy, because it will be that much harder to get back to a more structured schedule when you return to school. Keep up your routine- your body will thank you later. (And, you can burn off the holiday desserts and your grandparents’ food gifts.)

3. Make up for lost time

We all miss a certain place or activity from our hometown. Use this time to do the things you’ve been thinking about while away at school. If you’ve missed the movie theater and haven’t had time to go while at school, go now! Although it seems tempting to just hang out with high school friends you haven’t seen for weeks or even months, once in a while include your parents and/or brothers and sisters. And if it is a little rest you’ve been missing, set aside a few hours to do something relaxing and for yourself.

4. Purge your bedroom

It feels great to get rid of all your old junk and see the bottom of your closet again. I know no one wants to think about cleaning while on break, but it really is worth it, and again, you don’t need to go crazy. Over Thanksgiving break, I started going through and getting rid of some old stuff when I came across my high school yearbook. It was great reminiscing! You never know what memories you can stumble upon when you’re home. Believe me, your parents will appreciate your clean-up efforts, too.

So, although winter break is the prime time for relaxation and catching up on the latest Netflix binge, it should also be a time to feel productive (while you don’t have to worry about exams or papers). And for my piece of advice: if you can survive finals week, rest assured, you can survive a month at home!

Every second counts when there’s a fire. Using those seconds wisely to get yourself and your loved ones out could make the difference between escaping safely and suffering an injury.

Marc Stogran, a software engineer at Excellus BlueCross BlueShield, is a big proponent of the National Fire Protection Association’s “Every Second Counts: Plan 2 Ways Out” public education campaign.

“People genuinely believe that a fire can’t happen to them in the safety of their home,” said Stogran, a volunteer firefighter and EMT with the Manlius Fire Department. “But the truth is that it can.”

Set an escape plan AND a meeting place

Developing an escape plan is critical. All you have, on average, is between two and three minutes to escape your house safely during a fire, he continued.

Stogran encourages families to follow the NFPA’s advice and identify two ways to escape their home in the event of a fire. He also recommends that families frequently practice home fire drills to quickly get out of the house and gather at a previously established meeting place.

Families can make the drills fun by planning to treat themselves to ice cream when everyone makes it out of the house in two minutes, noted Stogran. “If the exercise goes well, celebrate the accomplishment,” he said. “If not, take the time to talk about what went wrong, and what everyone can do to get out more quickly next time.”

Should a fire ever actually occur, experts advise getting out as quickly as possible. Once out of the house, stay out and call for help. “It’s never a good idea to re-enter a burning building,” said Stogran.

Make sure your home has working smoke alarms

In addition to forming a home fire escape plan, Stogran also advises having working smoke alarms on every floor of your home. “What’s even better is to have a smoke alarm in every bedroom and hallway,” he said.

“Smoke detectors can be the first line of defense when fires occur,” continued Stogran. “Having them in multiple rooms of the house can detect a tragedy sooner rather than later.”

NFPA data show that in 2011-2015, almost all U.S. homes had at least one smoke alarm. Even so, three out of five deaths from home fires were in homes with no smoke alarms, or none that worked.

The Manlius Fire Department is one of many fire departments that offers free home installation of smoke detectors and in-home training within its fire district. Stogran often joins the department’s two-person teams charged with installing alarms. They also counsel homeowners regarding escape plans, meeting places and fire drills.

The American Red Cross, Western and Central New York Region, works with organizations such as the Manlius Fire Department to install free smoke alarms and replace batteries in existing alarms. In addition, the organization educates residents about home fire safety through its Home Fire Campaign.

Since 2014, the campaign has resulted in 8,637 smoke alarms being installed in Western and Central New York. Click here to join the American Red Cross’s Home Fire Campaign.

Household fire safety tips

Home fires can start and spread quickly. Just a little bit of planning can make a big difference for you and your family. In addition to establishing a fire escape plan and making sure you have working smoke detectors in your home, the American Red Cross recommends taking these additional precautions to help minimize the risk of fire:

• NEVER leave the kitchen unattended when cooking. Close to 50 percent of home structure fires in 2011-2015 were caused by cooking equipment.
• When cooking with oil in a frying pan, always have that pan’s lid within easy reach to extinguish the fire.
• Keep flammables (furniture, curtains, dish towels, paper towels) at least three feet away from burners and heat sources.
• Never smoke in bed.
• Plug large and small appliances directly into wall outlets.
• Never leave matches and lighters within reach of children.
• Have a fire extinguisher in key areas, such as the kitchen, workshop and garage.
• Check your appliances, especially dryers, to see if they need to be cleaned.
• Inspect storage areas for potential fire hazards, such as improperly stored gasoline and other flammable liquids.

Go to the National Fire Protection Association’s website for more information about fire prevention. Click here more information regarding the American Red Cross Home Fire Campaign.

Playing sports may be a milestone in your child’s life, but it also may be another notch in the worry belt for you. You can handle bruised egos, sprains and strains and an occasional broken bone. But what about a blow to the head? What if your child suffers a concussion?

A concussion is a “mild traumatic brain injury that usually happens after a blow to the head.” And, unfortunately, more kids seem to be getting them.

Concussion diagnoses among teenagers spiked in the U.S. from 2010 through 2015, according to a study released in 2016. In addition to head injuries during sports, concussions can result from bumping your head when you fall, being violently shaken, and motor vehicle accidents.

You don’t have to lose consciousness to have a concussion.

Suspect a Concussion?

Any athlete suspected of having a concussion should be removed from play immediately, said Nicholas Massa, M.D., Medical Director for Excellus BlueCross BlueShield.

“This will help reduce the risk of a worse injury,” he said, adding, “Your child should then be evaluated by a medical provider trained to diagnose and manage concussions.”

Until cleared by a medical provider, your child also should not participate in other activities that are associated with an increased risk of head injury, such as biking, skateboarding or climbing playground equipment, Massa said.

Inform Yourself About Concussions

Your child’s first defense against brain injury is your becoming an informed parent. And the time to do that is now, because, let’s face it, kids are going to be kids and get hurt, even outside the sports arena.

Take Morgan Tubolino of Mexico, New York. She and her brother were horsing around one Halloween about three years ago. Morgan fell and hit her head really hard.

Or, take my son, Andy, whose head hit the windshield when the car he was riding in was in an accident. (And, yes, I was adamant that he ALWAYS wear a seatbelt, but he didn’t that day.)

Both Morgan and Andy were diagnosed with concussions.

Although most people recover after a concussion, how quickly they improve depends on many factors, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Factors include:

• the severity of the concussion.
• the child’s age.
• how healthy the child is before the concussion.
• how they take care of themselves after hitting their heads.

Concussion: The Aftermath

Morgan, who was 14 at the time of injury, complained of constant headaches, said her mother, BetsyTubolino.

“Her vision would get blurry when she read. Her thinking was not clear, and she confused words.”

Andy was a soon-to-be Marcellus, New York, high school senior when his accident occurred. He would also be starting football practice that summer. Although rest is very important after a concussion to help the brain heal, I wasn’t confident that the discharge instructions to “take it easy” for a few weeks were enough, given the diagnosis.

Morgan’s doctor referred her to the Upstate Concussion Center at Upstate Medical Center. Andy ended up there, too.

Upstate Concussion Center

Brian P. Rieger, Ph.D., is the center’s Program Director. He is also Assistant Professor of Rehabilitation Psychology in the Department of Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation at Upstate Medical University.

The clinic’s team focuses first on education. It’s important to let the parent and child know what they should and should not be concerned about, Rieger said.

There is no sure test to determine if a child has had a concussion. In most cases, the brain looks normal on a CT scan or MRI, he said.

“We know it’s injured because it’s not working properly,” Rieger said.

“Likewise, we know the brain is recovered when the child can engage in both physical and mental activity without triggering a headache or other symptoms. Return to risky activities is only allowed when the patient is symptom free at rest and during exertion, such as running or doing school work.”

Signs of a Concussion

Most children will recover from a concussion in a week or two, but others take longer. .

“In some cases, symptoms can last for weeks or months or longer than a year,” Rieger said.

Your child, for example, may feel dizzy, light-headed and have balance problems. Their head and neck may hurt, and they may have problems sleeping.

Or, your child may get easily confused, distracted or lose track of time. He or she may have difficulty concentrating, paying attention and have trouble with learning and memory.

Changes can still go on in the brain even when the child appears to have recovered from a concussion. These changes can affect your child not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally, Rieger said.

Recovering From a Concussion

Betsy credits the center team’s commitment for her daughter’s return to health. “They took everything very seriously and explained everything they did and why.”

After a thorough exam, Morgan was prescribed occupational and physical therapy to help her vision and balance. She attended clinic/therapy sessions three times a week for six months and was followed for about a year. Treatment also included heat and stimulation to her head and neck to relieve pain.

The clinic also contacted the school about Morgan’s need for frequent breaks, extra time to complete tests, and a quiet, dark place where she could rest, if needed.

Morgan still gets headaches occasionally. She’s learned to manage side effects that pop up from time to time. Although she played volleyball pre-concussion, she wasn’t cleared to play her sophomore year. Now a senior, she prefers to work out in the school fitness center and concentrate on her studies. Her grades have returned to high honor status. She’s also studying to become a physician’s assistant through a Citi BOCES, SUNY Oswego and Oswego Health collaborative allied health program.

Concussions May Affect Schoolwork

“We now know that we should pay as much attention to the child’s return to the classroom as to sports,” said Rieger.

Good thing for Andy. Although I was concerned about Andy’s too soon return to football, I hadn’t considered how a concussion would affect his schoolwork.

At the center, Andy went through several exercises to evaluate his hand-eye coordination, balance, and memory. The clinic notified Marcellus High School that Andy might need more time to finish his Regents exams. They advised the school’s coach that Andy should delay the start of football practice for a couple of weeks and then ease into a modified practice.

Fortunately, he’s not had any long-term side effects from the concussion other than he ALWAYS wears his seatbelt now.

“It’s important that a child not re-enter contact sports too soon as there is an increased chance of re-injury and worse symptoms if a child suffers another concussion before recovery from a previous one,” said Rieger, noting that increased awareness and recognition of concussion could be responsible for the increased number of concussions reported.

While most children who have had multiple concussions will not complain and appear to be acting perfectly normal, some may end up with more frequent headaches, trouble sleeping, memory problems, an inability to concentrate or even depression symptoms.

“The risk of these kinds of problems seems to increase with an increasing number of concussions,” said Rieger.

CTE link?

Parents may be worried that their child who has had a concussion will develop Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE). The debilitating, chronic brain condition has gained media attention as more and more football players, boxers and other professional players in contact sports are diagnosed.

There is still a lot we don’t know about CTE, said Rieger.

“The jury’s still out whether concussion or just multiple blows to the head–even without concussion–is a greater risk factor for CTE,” he said.

“Until we know more, parents should be cautious and do all they can to prevent brain injury in the first place and seek immediate attention if it does happen.”

Rieger stressed that the culture of concussion must change, with coaches having zero tolerance for injured players not divulging their own symptoms or when players don’t report a teammate who talks about having headaches, feeling dizzy, etc.

“I don’t want to overly alarm parents,” he added. “Sports are good for kids, as long as we do what we can to keep them safe!”

Want more?

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has a video library of topics related to concussions.

My boys know the drill. Every Saturday, on our way to the grocery store, we’d first stop at Chase Farms, a small farm in Monroe County, to fill up on locally-grown fruits and veggies.

As I made a beeline for the freshly picked peaches, my boys would rummage through a bin filled with discarded corn husks. They’d grab an armful of husks to feed their favorite friends on the farm. Three goats, eager to amuse young children, would munch on the husks they got from my boys’ fingers.

During our last visit to the Fairport farm, however, my boys had lots more to do while I shopped for produce.

Pumpkin picking time at Chase Farms!

Rows of mums and orange and white pumpkins lined a side of the farm. My boys ran through the rows, marveling at the pumpkins, while I bought some garlic, sweet corn, apples, peppers, and cucumbers.

My littlest boy marveled at the tractor that was waiting to bring guests to the pumpkin patch. Crunched for time, we did not jump on the tractor’s wagon for a ride to get pumpkins. (But I did have to pinky swear that we’d do so next time!)

Chase Farms’ pumpkin wagon rides run from 10:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Saturdays and Sundays.

The cost is $2 a person if you don’t want a pumpkin and $9 if you do.

Fall fun: Corn mazing

We did take the time to wander through the farm’s (free!) corn maze. My oldest son took charge and led us through various dead ends to eventually emerge from the maze. He ran over to admire the big hay bale turned ghost, while my youngest (who is afraid of ghosts, by the way) ran in the opposite direction to pose for a pic next to a giant cut-out pumpkin.

Goats!

I love these goats. I’m no longer met with groans by my boys when I announce our trek to the grocery store. Why? It’s because they know they get to stop at Chase Farms and feed the goats!

The goats seem like a cross between a dog and a horse. They’re friendly like a dog, but BIG … almost like a small horse. And they love their corn husks.

What else?

Oh, and there’s the fruits and vegetables. Throughout the summer, I gorged on their peaches, buying pints at a time. I was surprised during my last visit to see that they also grew apples! I bought a few and have been munching on them all week.

There’s also a shortcake and sundae bar if you’re looking for a treat while at the farm.

Like raspberries?

I really (really) don’t like raspberries. But if you do, you can pick this fruit at the farm. The farm has 10 acres of raspberries, both summer and fall varieties. You can pick them now. Call (315) 986-3691 for more details.

The details

Chase Farms
459 Pannell Road|
Fairport, NY 14450|
(315) 986-3691

It’s located in Monroe County, but it’s not too far from the borders of Wayne and Ontario counties.
www.chasefarmsmarket.com

In a previous article, I discussed: Is My Child a Bully? (7 Tips for Parents of Bullies). This article picks up where the other one left off. NOTE: These articles are not intended to replace a physician’s or counselor’s advice.

Josh was playing basketball very well. Josh’s mom and dad watched him proudly as he was the most valuable player game after game. But his mom also noticed he was losing his cool and using his elbows more aggressively.

She recalled previous bullying allegations against her son, but the thoughts disappeared as the crowd cheered.

Despite this, the next day she was still feeling unsettled. At dinner, she brought up a time in the game where Josh roughly fouled another player.

“Josh, it seemed like you were playing kind of rough and dirty yesterday.”

Her husband replied, “Honey, he’s a guy. His adrenaline was pumping, and it was a tough opponent.”

But Josh’s mom couldn’t shake the image of the player that Josh knocked down.

A side of her son she didn’t like

The following Sunday, she drove by the court where Josh played pick-up basketball with neighborhood kids.

She saw him knock a much weaker player to the ground. The younger player didn’t get up right away, and Josh didn’t offer a hand up or an apology. The downed player got up, rubbed blood off his elbow, picked up his jacket and left the game.

No one acknowledged his injury or departure. Josh’s mom felt her mouth fall open in shock.

Here was a side of her son she didn’t like.

Good at sports without being a bully

To get to the bottom of the story, she invited Josh to his favorite restaurant. She brought up the subject that had been nagging at her.

“Josh, I happened to be driving by the court yesterday and saw you knock down a smaller kid. He was bleeding when he left. What’s going on? Why do you play so roughly?”

Josh replied, “What, what are you talking about? That kid had no business playing in our pick-up game. And, being pushy is part of the game. I thought you liked how good I am at basketball.”

Mom paused before she spoke.

“Yes, but you can be good and not hurt people. Remember there was that thing earlier in the year about you being a bully…and….”

Josh interrupted.

”That’s all over. Remember, nothing came of it. ”

“Josh, I’m just concerned,” his mom replied. ”Basketball is only one part of becoming a man.”

Josh defended his actions.

“Mom, it’s the only part that is going to get me into a college. Enough. I’m going to leave now and get a ride home with my friends.”

With that, Josh stalked out.

The reason behind the bullying

Josh’s mom went home and began to search online about bullying.

At first, what she found was terrifying. Some linked bullying to substance use and sociopathic behavior.

Then she stumbled on a website that made sense.

The site suggested that parents look at changes in life circumstances. She recalled that Josh’s grandfather had died about six months ago. He and Josh would go fishing together and out for ice cream. He came to Josh’s games.

After his grandfather died, Josh and his dad began doing more things together. They watched basketball and action blockbuster movies. As a reward for a great season, Josh got an Xbox. He spent hours playing Halo and World of Warcraft. Life had become basketball, school and what his mother jokingly called “killing games.”

Confronting your child, the bully

Josh’s mom talked to her husband. They agreed to talk to Josh together, using a recent photo of Josh and his grandfather. They discussed how Grandpa’s passing had affected them all.

Josh cried as he felt the pain of missing his grandfather. He said basketball had become like a job and how responsible he felt for getting a scholarship and his team’s success. He really had wanted to do some art classes this semester, but there was no time.

Josh’s parents suggested he skip intramural games during the off-season or pick-up basketball. He’d have more time to take a community art class.

Josh continued to play basketball as a dominant force on the team, but not as aggressively. And, now he has more balance in his life. He still plays Xbox, but only for a couple of hours a week.

Apologizing to the kids he had bullied

Josh’s mom asked him to do one more thing: Apologize to the kids he had bullied.

At first, Josh was angered by the suggestion. Then, a couple of days later, he spoke up.

”Remember that kid, the one whose mom complained about me? I talked to him. I said I was a jerk and I was sorry. He invited me to his house to shoot a few hoops. Guess what? He’s getting a lot better. I gave him some pointers, like a better way to hit a three-point shot. I know you don’t want me to do a lot of extra basketball stuff, but I told him I would show him a couple of defense moves next week. Is that OK?”

Josh’s mom nodded as she gave him a hug.

Tips for parents

It’s sometimes not clear if your child is a bully. Read “7 tips if your child is the bully” for help navigating uncertain situations. Another good resource is stopbullying.gov. Cyberbullying is also an issue; check out nobullying.com.

If your child is a bully, remember to:

1. Acknowledge the problem. Explain that the behavior must stop.
2. Consider asking your child’s school, doctor or local mental health association for help, For example, The Mental Health Association in Rochester, New York, offers parents suggestions and support.
3. Talk to your child about the behavior, why it bothers you and strategize different ways of reacting.
4. Don’t be afraid to limit or curtail activities that are fueling the fire of aggression.
5. Praise your child’s desirable behaviors. There is good in everyone.